How to Cope with Your Spouse Coming Home from a Deployment?


You are a proud spouse because your significant other is coming home from a deployment. When your spouse is a veteran you have to tolerate a lot of things. Not only does a veteran sacrifice his life and services for the nation but so do one’s family especially a husband or a wife. You have to compromise on a lot of things especially the hardest part about being in a relationship from armed forces is deployment. You have to live thousands of miles away from the person you love but you can’t complain because that is their job and responsibility. However, deployment is not the only difficult thing about having a relationship with someone from the armed forces and surprisingly enough sometimes homecoming might sound harder. You might not believe it because you live every moment to see your spouse again and you can sacrifice anything for that moment to come but the sad part is that the home coming is not as beautiful always as predicted. You need to understand a lot of things to help your spouse adjust easily when  he or she is finally back.

Here are few tips to make it easier for both of you:

1.    Your Spouse Needs Time

It is wise to remember that your better half is back from a place where he or she witnessed bloodshed and violence. A veteran does not eat or sleep properly during deployment as the surroundings and times don’t allow it. Furthermore, they need to be alert all the time and taking a break seems like a dream. Their minds get used to all this and when they return the peaceful environment of their houses haunts them as they are not used to it and even if they want to rest they don’t feel like it. Thus, you need to understand that they definitely need time to adjust.

2.    The Romance may not be the Same

You missed their touch, smell, and the warm hugs but for the first few days, you might not be able to witness the same enthusiasm in your spouse. It does not mean they have lost interest in you or they are seeing someone else rather it is because they have been in a very different environment for a long time and both their mind and body is too tired to be ready for emotions. You need to be considerate enough to let them settle down first and try not to show you notice the change.

3.    The Children Need to Know That Too

If you have kids it is ideal to tell them that their father or mother is doing a great job so he needs greater love and attention. The children might be surprised and hurt to see the change in their parent but being a responsible spouse you need to pacify them on your own.

4.    Plan Meetups with other Veterans

It is natural that your spouses might feel that no one can understand their state, so it is ideal to let them spend time with other veterans so they can feel there are others like them who go through the same circumstances. This will surely help them grow.

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