Helping Children Adjust to Deployment

Helping Children Adjust to Deployment

When a family member is deployed on active duty, everyone at home must adjust to a new kind of normal. Making this necessary adjustment can be especially hard on children. Children may not have the coping skills required to manage their anxiety, fear, and concern for their loved one. This can make life at home very stressful. All family members can make an effort to help the youngest among them become more comfortable with the idea of deployment. Making the effort to transform this difficult period into one of positive self-sacrifice and character building will certainly have many beneficial effects on children, teens, and adolescents, and on the adults they will someday become.

Consider Play Groups, Support Groups, and Social Get-Togethers

There is a wealth of community resources that exist to help the family members of active military service personnel cope with the realities of deployment. These groups are sometimes geared to the particular needs of specific people, such as parents or spouses. You can also find groups just for children and teens. These groups are a positive, service affirming source of support. Typically, such groups are organized and run by people who have also experienced the deployment of a family member. They understand your struggles and will work with you to confront the challenges.

The groups designed especially for children may be focused on play and socializing, on support and healthy emotional expression, or a bit of both. Parents are encouraged to become involved in these groups and are likely to meet many other families along the way.

You can locate these and similar family resource groups in several ways, including:

• The Internet
• Local VA divisions
• Health departments
• Social service agencies
• College campuses and college offices dedicated to the needs of veterans
• Churches and other religious organizations
• Phone directories

Parents and Caregivers Can Make the Difference

Older siblings, parents, and adult family members often have the biggest impact on a young child’s ability to cope with the emotional consequences of having a deployed family member. Modeling resilience, positivity, optimism, and normalcy as much as possible can be very effective. However, acknowledging that everyone is experiencing difficulty can also be very important. Children respond to deployment in many different ways; family members must be patient and understanding while also providing the support and discipline necessary for the child to adjust to a new normal.

Books and storytelling can be a helpful tool to prompt discussions about deployment. Visit a bookstore or library to discover books about military service members that are appropriate for your child’s age. You can also use the Internet to discover the many books available that directly address this complex subject. You can also seek support from other families who are going through similar circumstances. Simply having someone to talk to during this time can be a great comfort.

Caring for Your Family Makes a Difference

Helping children young and old adjust to a new and frightening set of circumstances is challenging for any parent or caregiver. Pulling together as a family is an important part of supporting your deployed loved one and will certainly help everyone grow stronger.

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